Bathroom

The bathroom is my refuge, the place where I am able to grab a few quiet minutes..and make an attempt to regain my sanity! Let me set the scenario for you..

Randomly at some point during the day I stash a few magazines in the cabinet under the sink. I have a good stash now built up. When Russ calls and says he is coming home I start the planning...
I make a cup of tea or coffee and wait for him to walk in the door. After he gets settled (which could be another post all together) I trying to look nonchalant pick up my coffee and wander towards the bathroom. "I have to go to the bathroom..be out in a sec"
Russ normally ignores this since he knows exactly what I am doing.
I smile to myself..and sometimes I do actually have to GO to the bathroom since it has most likely been hours since I have had the time..but usually its just because I need some ME time. I normally just close the seat and sit, trying not to rustle the pages as I get my magazines out..hoping my coffee is still warm.

Aaggghhh...silence..5 minutes go by...
"Honey, hurry up"
Oh crap..Russ is on to me..flush for effect
10 minutes go by..I am reading about moms who have time to run. I take a minute to imagine myself as a runner..I would need a whole new "athletic" wardrobe..would have to stop going through the Krispy Kreme drive through because I never see serious runner looking people in the drive through line..
"Seriously!"
flush again..
I can tell that I am running short on time. Try to skim a little more of the magazine..or just stare off into space.
Then I hear crying babies coming down the hallway..
and a knocking on the door
"I could really use some help in here.."
flush..
"AND STOP FLUSHING!"
I am holding back giggles..
"I am COMING!"
Flush again while I re-stash the magazines..