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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Am I In There???

I am trying to find her. She is buried under diapers, wipes, baby food,
naps, toys, dinners, cleaning, organizing...

When I made the choice to stay home with the girls I knew that the
"glamour" would be lost..but I had no idea how "unglamourous"
diapers of poo, spit up stained shirts, and under eye circles would be.
And I am not complaining..just coming to a realization..
That you make a trade when you stay home
and I would not trade it for the world
I feel extremely blessed that Russ has worked hard to
get the job that he has, and loves, and excels at daily.
That I marred someone who is on the same page as me as far as what we feel
is important in our girls lives.

but some days its really really really hard.
Its hard to see the bigger picture, the lives I have the privilege of shaping
the lives I am building into every day
shaping them to be the little ladies that I dream about them becoming.

There comes a point, when to be a good wife, mother, and friend
you need to stop
and take a little me time.

Mothers are so trained in selflessness
because that is what it takes to get up at 1 am and 3 am and 5 am
that sometimes they lose themselves in the process.
and forget that its OK to take some time
some energy
for yourself

I am seeing that for an entire year (yeah!!! :)..in two weeks..)
I put myself on the back burner
which is where God needed me to give me the ability to take care of
two infants.
Ecclesiastes 3
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven"

I feel like now is my time to regroup...to rejuvenate..
to make time for myself

Obviously, I will still be a wife..still be a mother
still have the demands of a busy life. But hopefully in this I can learn to slow down..
find time..learn..grow..

This is my challenge for myself
to do at least one small thing for myself daily
for 30 days.
spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally

Tomorrow is Day One
blogging about it will help keep me accountable

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